


The Pearl

by ValkerieRupert



Series: Autistic Steven Universe Headcanons [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (as in hurting yourself when overwhelmed), Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Garnet (Steven Universe), Autistic Meltdown, Autistic Pearl (Steven Universe), Autistic Peridot (Steven Universe), Gen, Meltdown, Stimming, self-injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 01:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkerieRupert/pseuds/ValkerieRupert
Summary: Peridot always thought there was something unusual about the Pearl. But she is still surprised to find out what the something is.





	1. Breaking down

Ever since she had first arrived on Earth, Peridot had thought something was a bit...off with the Pearl. She couldn't figure out exactly what it was, but that Pearl was different to Garnet and the Steven, and she was definitely different to the Amethyst.

  
She stuttered and blushed when she talked. She worked dance moves and leaps into her regular body language in a way that made it look natural and normal. She seemed uncomfortable being touched. She flinched when there were loud noises. She flapped her arms and paced around when she was stressed (which, being as anxious as she was, was often).

  
Considering her own background, Peridot really should have figured out exactly what was different about Pearl. But she had never been good at telling people's intentions, and so when she couldn't figure out an explanation quickly she filed Pearl's quirks under the 'unexplained' folder in her brain and forgot about it.

Until one day.

She should have picked up on it sooner. She should have realized something was going to happen. Pearl had been anxious and jittery (more so than usual) ever since they had started working on the drill to stop the Cluster in the morning, pacing around and flapping her arms near constantly and freaking out whenever something surprised her.

But as usual, Peridot failed to pick up on Pearl's distress. The planet was about halfway through its rotation, which according to the Steven meant it was lunchtime and they should rest. Peridot and Amethyst had decided to rest outside with him, while Pearl stayed in the barn working on the plans for the drill and making sure they hadn't made any design mistakes, with Garnet going in and out every five minutes to check on everyone.

After a while, Garnet came out of the barn as usual. But instead of sitting down with the others and participating in the conversation as she had been doing thus far, she quickly took her visor off, looking at Amethyst. Peridot shuddered; she still wasn't use to seeing fusions that weren't about to attack her, let alone different-gem fusions, and seeing Garnet's three eyes was still a little scary.

"Amethyst?" asked Garnet. Her voice seemed a little more serious than usual, with maybe a hint of worry or fear.

"Yeah?" answered Amethyst, seeming a little scared by Garnet's tone of voice.

"Pearl's having a meltdown. You're in charge while I help her."


	2. Melting down

Amethyst nodded. Steven bit his lip. "Why? Did something happen? How bad is it? Is she hurting herself?"

  
"I'm not sure what it's about at the moment, but I can't stay out here long. She wants me to stay with her until she feels better."

"Okay," said Amethyst. "you'd better go back in then. Let me know if she needs me to do anything."

Garnet nodded and ran back into the barn, leaving behind a totally bewildered Peridot.

"M- _Meltdown?!_ As in _...autistic meltdown?!"_

"Yeah, P's autistic," answered Amethyst, as if it was just an afterthought and not a big deal at all.

"Garnet might be autistic too," added Steven. "We're not quite sure yet, but Pearl thinks she is. That's why she's helping Pearl now, she knows what to do. It's probably best if we give them space."

Peridot's head was swimming. It was a confusing revelation- at first. But then she remembered Pearl's unusual body language (stimming?) and speech patterns, and how she would react to unexpected touching and loud noises, and it all seemed to fit together perfectly. Garnet...Garnet was more of a mystery, but Peridot couldn't deny that even in the few times she had taken her visor off, Garnet never made eye contact, and she seemed to have odd ways of talking.

"Oh," muttered Peridot, taken aback by the news.

Amethyst glared at her. "Yeah, and if you've got a problem with it then you can-"

"No, I'm not upset about it!" said Peridot hurriedly. "It's just...I didn't expect it. I'm autistic too, you see."

"Oh, I thought you might be."

Peridot bit her lip, glancing in the direction of the barn, but she still couldn't see Pearl and Garnet. "I'm just going to look inside and check on them, I'll be right back."  
Steven was about to tell Peridot to be careful not to make it worse, but then he remembered that Peridot herself was autistic and would probably understand what to do. So he nodded in approval and muttered, "Let us know how she's doing."

Peridot nodded and stood up, walking over to the barn and standing at the entrance. Garnet and Pearl were sitting against the wall, Pearl crying and biting down on her left arm, Garnet silently rubbing her back reassuringly. To an ordinary observer, it would look like Pearl was some sort of lapse of insanity causing her to blindly hurt herself.

But Peridot knew better. She had been in that same position, biting herself and crying just like Pearl was now, more times than she could count. Except that when she had a meltdown, she didn't have Garnet calming her down. Instead she had Yellow Diamond, Jasper or her manager standing over her threateningly, screaming at her to stop, hitting her if she didn't, telling her that she would be shattered if she couldn't pull herself together, and finally locked in a room and not allowed out until she had calmed down- or, more often, until she had destroyed her physical form through self-injury and the time in her gem had calmed her down. You know, because when someone is distressed, screaming at them and locking them in a room is a _great_ way to help them.

Garnet looked up, finally noticing the green gem. "Peridot, go and get something for her to chew on."

Peridot nodded, running back to Amethyst and Steven. "Pearl needs something to chew on, do either of you have an idea of what I might use?"

Steven reached into his pocket, taking out a pink necklace. "It's a chewing necklace, my friend Connie gave it to me when I told her Pearl was autistic."

  
"Wow, thanks," muttered Peridot, taking the necklace and running back to the barn. She quickly gave it to Garnet, who mouthed her thanks and started trying to persuade Pearl to chew on the necklace instead of her arm.

 

"How's she doing?" whispered Peridot, not wanting to overload Pearl with loud noise.

"I think she's getting better but she wants to be alone with me until she's recovered." answered Garnet just as quietly. Peridot nodded and ran off.


	3. Calming down

A sigh of relief came from Amethyst, Peridot and Steven in unision as they saw Pearl and Garnet finally walking out of the barn.

  
"Are you feeling better now, Pearl?" asked Steven as she sat down with them. The drill was still in the state it had been in when Steven had declared it was lunchtime; nobody had thought it was worth the risk of the noise bothering Pearl, not when she was already having a meltdown.

Pearl chuckled, her cheeks turning blue as she nervously rubbed the back of her neck. "Yes, I...I think I have recovered from that little...incident....I-I do apologize for making such a fuss..."

"It's not your fault," assured Steven. "You can't help it."

"What was it about?" asked Amethyst.

"Oh, umm...Just..." She sighed. "I was worried about things changing, now that you're a Crystal Gem too, Peridot..."

"Oh," muttered Peridot, her cheeks turning blue. "I-I'm sorry- if you want I can leave when we've dealt with the Cluster-"

"No, I'm sorry- it was selfish of me to throw a tantrum over such a-"

"It was a meltdown, not a tantrum." corrected Garnet, summoning her visor calmly. "And it's not selfish, and it's not your fault. Some people just aren't good at coping with change, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I understand," added Peridot. "I'm autistic too, so I know how hard it is to deal with unexpected changes. But I promise, I'll try not to mess with your routine. Trust me, you won't even know I'm here once we've dealt with the Cluster."

Pearl nodded weakly, her cheeks turning bluer by the second. "Th-Thank you," she stuttered. "Th-Thank you all so much..."

 

 

The planet Earth was around three-quarters of the way through its rotation around the sun it orbited; as the Steven said, it was evening. The stars were visible through the dark sky and most of the humans had gone to sleep, but the gems had no need for such an activity. Pearl and Peridot sat together in the barn, alone.

"Thanks for bringing me the necklace," Pearl murmured, blushing.

"You're welcome," replied Peridot, her cheeks just as blue. "The Steven gave it to me. He says he recieved it from a friend named Connie."

Silence.

More specifically, awkward silence.

"So," asked Pearl. "what's your special interest?"

 _"Camp Pining Hearts,"_ muttered Peridot, glancing down at her feet in embarrasment. "What about you?"

"Sword fighting," answered Pearl. "I normally don't like to talk about it though, because every time I do I get way too enthusiastic...." She remembered the time she had gotten too wrapped up in her interest in sword fighting and the human concept of knights risking everything they had for their liege, and ended up giving Connie a dangerous sacrificial mindset and harming Steven's trust in her. She didn't like to think about that.

"Well, why don't you tell me about it now?"

And so she did. She infodumped for hours about the intricate details of sword fighting and the differences between sword fighting and fencing, and in turn Peridot told her all about _Camp Pining Hearts._ And as they have a tendency to do, the conversation quickly cycled back into the topic of autism, and they talked about their autistic traits, their stims, their coping methods, their social skills (or lack therof), and the many, _many_ meltdown stories they both had, until the Earth had completed the current rotation around the sun and gone a quarter of the way into the next one. By that time it was 'morning' according to Steven, which meant it was time to continue working on the drill. So Pearl and Peridot stood up and walked out of the barn, each feeling a little less alone then they had previously.


End file.
